4 Days to a Forever Marriage- Day 2: Communication & Resolving Anger

Here is another excerpt from the new book by Gary & Norma Smalley titled 4 Days to a Forever Marriage. Enjoy!

I told you so…

Words have awesome power to build us up or tear us down emotionally. Many people can clearly remember words of praise their parents spoke years ago. Others can remember negative, cutting
words– in extraordinary detail. Communication within the family is like the body’s circulatory system. When we stop listening to each other, it’s as though the family suffers a stroke. We become disabled. Certain members no longer respond to other members.

It is such a lie to think you’ll change your spouse. Expectations are the number-one reason people are not happy. We keep expecting things and people to make us happy.

Explain how you feel instead of demanding that your partner improve. Use “I feel” statements, but wait for the right time, and abandon the “you” statements and the “I told you so” statements.

In defeating the arguments and problems that can crop up around any home, try seasoning each day with a liberal sprinkling of praise: “You’re so smart.” “What a treasure you are!” “That’s so creative!” “I’m praying for you.” “You’re wonderful!” “I’m with you all the way.” “Thank you for all your help.”

For more encouragement and practical ways to a forever marriage, visit nlpg.com/4days!

Tomorrow (Friday, October 7) is FREE Book Friday! You will have one of four chances to win a FREE copy of 4 Days to a Forever Marriage! Make sure to check back here tomorrow at 7:00 a.m. CST, the winners will be announced here at 4:30 p.m. CST. Good luck!

4 Days to a Forever Marriage- Day 1 (Loving Words & Actions)

Here is a short ‘look inside’ Day 1 of 4 Days to a Forever Marriage by Gary & Norma Smalley:

What is love? How do you honor your spouse? What does it look like in terms of living in a relationship? Loving your wife can mean many things to many people. It often means different things to a husband and wife at a given point in time.

Gary: One of the key ways a man can honor his wife is by thinking about how the commitments he makes will affect her before he makes them.

For example, I had come out with a new book, and the publisher asked me to go on a publicity tour to help generate some interest in it. Since I’m an outgoing person who loves to minister to people, I didn’t have to be asked twice. This was an extended, intensive tour that kept me on the road for three long, hard months. But I was having a great time! A lot of good things were happening. Things were going so well, I was ready to sign up for a second tour. Surley Norma would want me to do this, I figured.

Norma: Gary was having so much fun– and helping so many people on the tour– that he didn’t realize what was happening at home. Emotionally, I was hurting. I felt as if I had fallen from second place in his priorities, after God, to about fifth. I don’t get jealous of all the attention Gary gets in his work, but I am bothered when he pushes me out of my rightful place.

Most of your husbands are asked all of the time, like Gary, to make commitments that would have strong, direct impacts on your wives. Does that mean you should never make such a commitment? Of course not. Give her a chance to be your cheerleader or share her concerns. But the point is that you should think about the impact of the commitment to her– and better still ask her what she thinks of it– before you make it. That’s showing love and honor to your wife.

You are 4 days away from:

-Laying a firm foundation for your future marriage
-Charting the course for an even better marriage
-Transforming a marriage that seems to be at the end.

Take the 4 day challenge today!

Connect with the book and people reading it here:


4 Days to a Forever Marriage: Choosing Love or Anger by Gary & Norma Smalley

Would you invest 4 days to transform your relationship? Take the 4 day challenge!

Day 1- The power of loving words and actions
Day 2- Better communication and resolving anger
Day 3- Connections through affection and intimacy
Day 4- Finding treasures in the trials

Every day a married man or woman must make a choice…choosing love or anger…and it isn’t as easy as it sounds. This unique book provides the guidance and perspective you need from marriage coaches Gary & Norma Smalley. They can help you begin living a more intimate and loving relationship that honors God and each other. Invest a little time over just four days to help get your relationship in balance and start reaping emotional and spiritual benefits.

“Wow! This may be the most practical, step-by-step manual for building a healthy marriage that we’ve ever seen! Gary & Norma have put the cookies on the bottom shelf for every couple who is looking for proven ways to lasting love. With a mountain of experience to stand on, this seasoned couple tells it like it is and their advice is sure to revolutionize your relationship.”– Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott (Authors of Love Talk)

4 Days to a Forever Marriage: Choosing Love or Anger

2 Choices: Love or Anger

New Leaf Publishing Group and best-selling authors Gary & Norma Smalley have teamed up for a title called,
4 Days to a Forever Marriage: Choosing Love or Anger. This book will release under the New Leaf Press imprint October 2011.

“I have admired Gary and Norma and their work for many years.  I am so thrilled to have them in our line up this fall. We are going to pull-out all the stops to make this book a success.  I feel this book is more needed than ever as families and marriages are under attack as never before,” said Tim Dudley, president of NLPG. This new title offers stress-free strategies to discover critical keys to “love longevity”.

4 Days to a Forever Marriage

-Reveals the physical and psychological impact of managing two key elements of any relationship: love or anger

-Effective strategies to enhance, maintain, or even restore your marriage

-Filled with over 300 marriage and family tips gleaned from personal experience and hundreds of other successful relationships

-Valuable lessons of communication and nurturing relationships with kids and grandkids.

Gary & Norma Smalley have been happily married for more than 40 years. Gary is a well-known conference speaker, best-selling author, and president and founder of Smalley Relationship Center. They have spent the last 35 years learning, teaching, and counseling together.

“It’s our pleasure to assure you, based on our own experience and that of hundreds of other couples we’ve observed and talked to, that your marriage can get better and better as the years go by.” — Norma Smalley

To learn more about Gary & Norma Smalley, visit:

To learn more about New Leaf Press, visit:

Connect with Twitter:
Follow – @forevermarriage for tweets from the book, encouragement from the authors, and more…
Find- “Forever Marriage” tweets throughout the book. Share them online and inspire others to create a “forever marriage” for themselves.
Become- part of the Forever Marriage community by adding this hashtag to your tweets from and about the book- #4days2forever
Visit- http://search.twitter.com and enter #4days2forever to meet others reading the book

Discipline is What it Takes to be a Disciple.

with host's Ryan Dobson and Toben Heim

Pastor Shannon O’Dell believes this, lives this, and preaches this. He will appear, yes appear (you can watch the video cast online), on Grounded Radio TOMORROW Thursday, Sept. 1 at 12:00 pm ET! Click here to watch. Grounded Radio is hosted by Ryan Dobson and Toben Heim. It is part of the FamilyTalk network of programs.

He will be sharing this concept along with many other insightful and practical ways to approach life from a God honoring perspective. Pastor Shannon’s mission is to reach the last, the lost, and the least. For them to know the true meaning of accepting God’s unwavering love and to love Him with their whole heart in return.  To accept everlasting life that is available to us all.

Pastor Shannon O'Dell

Pastor Shannon desires to see healthy churches, families, and marriages. All are woven so tightly. No matter your circumstance you and your church can be a relevant force for transforming lives! Allow him to offer practical tips and strategies that will nurture growth in these areas.

Patsor Shannon O’Dell is the senior pastor at Brand New Church and author of Transforming Church in Rural America.

To learn more about Pastor Shannon O’Dell and to connect with him visit his blog and find him on Twitter: